lunes, abril 07, 2008

La desilusión es el luto de la posibilidad perdida

Llevo semanas tratando de escribir un poema. Llevo muchas horas tratando de que ocurra. Fueron cientos de miradas que trate de convertirlas en versos; y fueron cientos de palabras apenas susurradas y cientos de sonrisas que esperaba que formaran los puntos, comas y espacios de mi poema. Fue tiempo y fueron espacios: eran la música del poema.

De Maria Font era el poema. De María, la de la cabecita loca y los ojos bonitos. La poeta que no escribía poemas porque lo suyo lo suyo era tan solo inspirarlos. De Maria quería escribir por el gusto de hacerlo, por el gusto de inventarme una historia con ella, una historia de esas de cuento, llena de cursilerías y canciones de gesta, de esas de dragones, roperos y princesas. Después de todo cuando se hacen castillos en el aire no hay que respetar reglas de arquitectura.

El poeta tiene vocación de Quijote y yo la hice Dulcinea. Tocarla y mirarla en el baile de máscaras para ver si así lograba arrancarle un versillo, una estrofa, vamos, una rima, lo que fuera.

Y ella callaba. Me miraba. Sonreía. Tomaba mi mano y me daba una vuelta, dos y no había tercera. Y otra vez sonreía y me miraba. La fatalidad de su belleza triste, como de venus, como de mármol, como de diosa pagana de la que nadie se acuerda.

Busqué el cuadro de mi poema en las alturas de mi ciudad y le mostre la noche del valle y sus luces y sus placeres. Busque en las botellas de muchos licores y en la estridencia donde los cuerpos son fantasmas entre los humos de mil cigarros y la selva de ruidos sin más sentido que un grito: Existo!

María Font, la de la cabecita loca y ojos bonitos. Nunca dijiste nada y yo pensaba que era tu misterio el misterio de las hadas que se mueren si les dices que no crees en ellas. Yo pensaba, y pensaba en que te podía hacer un poema.

Pero se nos hizo tarde y la luz se le perdió a tus ojos. Dejaste de bailar y no me mirabas. Tus ojos no miraban a nadie, era un vacio. Me dio miedo. Rompiste tu silencio y en el aire se formó un grito y una carcajada; la vulgaridad nos cubrió para siempre y el poema en tu seno se agitó y con cada risotada se abortaba. En el baile de máscaras la tuya era una broma y mi poema era la broma.

Desde atrás Neruda se acercó y con unas palmadas en el hombro me dijo: "Garcia Madero, entiende que es cierto que hay mujeres que te gustan cuando callan, porque estan como ausentes... el problema es que si se acercan pierden todo chiste y lo único chistoso es que tu hayas querido hacerles un poema".

Ah que Neruda, ah que María. Las historias terminan como comienzan. Llevo semanas tratando de escribir un poema. De Maria Font era el poema. La de la cabecita loca y ojos bonitos. La poeta que no escribe poemas, porque lo suyo lo suyo es reirse de ellos.

Rafael Tobias

54 comentarios:

patzarella dijo...

Pues vaya !!! Neruda tendrá razón..., porque cuando se acercan... (algunos y algunas que no todos, eh!)

Y esa de la cabeZita loca.., será por la z ??? Y si lo intentas con la C ??? Tal vez le gusta un poco más ;-)

Ya te puse un link !!

saludos !!

rafael tobias dijo...

jaja, muy cierto, ya la cabecita estará más a gusto.
RT

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Anónimo dijo...

muy cierto amigo, las cosas cambian.

un abrazo

Guillermo Petricioli

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Nunca he podido escribir un poema!! me traumaron en secudnaria pues mis poemas eran pésimos!!!!, y no sé porqué pero tus últimas líneas hablan de Neruda, uno de mis últimos posts, conlleva su poema!!!

Sigo esperando el Au Pied de Cochon!!!! o no?

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